Wer kann mir kurz helfen?
ist der text so ok? Ich muss eine Geschichte beenden und das in der vergangenheit.
She went in to the house. Everything was burning in the house. All the toys were burning. It was very hot there. She went to the children room and fell down. It was too hot for her. The children were shaking her, but she gave them no reaction. After some seconds they ran out of the house and called the fire brigade. The fire brigade came and deleted the fire. But it was too late for Lucille, she was already dead.
Bin gerade schon am stöbern. Ist mir aber alles noch zu teuer.![]()
Wer kann mir kurz helfen?
ist der text so ok? Ich muss eine Geschichte beenden und das in der vergangenheit.
She went into the house where everything was burning. All the toys cought fire. It was steaming hot in there. She just went into the childrens room when she lost consciousness. It was way too hot for her. The children were trying to wake her up, but she didn't seem to react. After a few seconds they decided to run out of the house to call the fire brigade. The firemen had the fire extinguished pretty soon, but yet it was too late for Lucille, she was already dead.
Naja ist ganz ok, sprachlich könnte man noch bischen was rausholen:
When she entered the house, everything was burning and it was very hot inside the house. She went to the children room and collapsed, because it was too hot for her. The children were shaking her, but she gave them no reaction. After some seconds they ran out of the house and called the fire brigade. The fire brigade arrived and extinguished the fire. But it was too late for Lucille, she was already dead.
Meiner Meinung nach sprachlich so besser... Feuer löschen heißt immer to extinguished, delete geht dabei nicht... Und Vergangenheit von come is came, nicht camed, aber wird wohl Tippfehler gewesen sein... Wobei das mit 'kommen' eh sowas ist, arrive ist besser![]()
Naja ist ganz ok, sprachlich könnte man noch bischen was rausholen:
When she entered the house, everything was burning and it was very hot inside the house. She went to the children room and collapsed, because it was too hot for her. The children were shaking her, but she gave them no reaction. After some seconds they ran out of the house and called the fire brigade. The fire brigade arrived and extinguished the fire. But it was too late for Lucille, she was already dead.
Meiner Meinung nach sprachlich so besser... Feuer löschen heißt immer to extinguished, delete geht dabei nicht... Und Vergangenheit von come is came, nicht camed, aber wird wohl Tippfehler gewesen sein... Wobei das mit 'kommen' eh sowas ist, arrive ist besser![]()
Danke viel viel mals. Das ganze wird eben auch benotet![]()
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